Breastmilk and webprint

I was thinking about how dramatically the Internet has changed the stay at home mom role while I was entering my freelance work today, snuggled in the big recliner as Keen enjoys his breakfast.

When I became a mother I had no idea I would be typing one handed milk-sloshed sentences sent out into the real world of stain-free folks who spend little time thinking about poop or how amazing it is that the letter Z is involved in the word Zebra.

But here I am in my second freelance job and finding it lovely.

Sometimes I wonder if making the small amount of money I can bring in is worth the time sacrifice away from my children and the adjustment to a working mind but then I realize that there is something to be gained from the sense of duty that is involved in knowing someone else is reading something I have written.

It doesn't matter how small it is or how insignificant, it cuts the edge off the feeling of isolation that can sometimes overwhelm the stay at home experience.

It is the "if a tree falls" concept of the recognition of existence. I know that others know that I exist as a person outside of this experience of motherhood and that feels good in any capacity.

And at the same time I wouldn't want anything more than what I already have because these moments with my children are precious and every moment I spend validating my identity outside of this is a moment I lose embracing this.