Truman exhibited his first act of empathy today. We were out at a park with Khai and Sarah. It was a chilly day and both boys had hats, but Khai's had been left in the car.
Truman hasn't been a huge fan of hats this winter, so I expect he won't wear one unless it's freeze-your-ears-off cold. But he was wearing his hat today for a while, but then took it off, so I let Khai (who has been loving hats recently) wear it.
Later, Truman ran up to Khai and took his hat back. Khai started crying while Truman dashed away and put on the hat.
"Truman, that hat is very important to Khai and he would really like to wear it, since it is not that important to you, can he use it for now?"
Truman thought for a few seconds, then took off the hat and walked it over to Khai.
I could hardly believe it. He seemed to understand completely what was going on and chose of his own volition (prompted by me, yes, but he's not the type to do anything unless he wants to) to give Khai the hat.
T climbed up on this hill and said "look at me!":
Boisterous
Adventurous
Vivacious
Endearing
Curious
Willful
Inventive
Energetic
Loving
Kind
Joyful
These are all words that are easy to label Truman with. And while he does at times exhibit calmness, it hasn't been a hallmark of his first two years.
But today while we were checking out the Twin Cities Attachment Parenting playgroup I saw a profound shift in his personality. Other kids were running and jumping and tossing crayons into the air — things Truman normally does — but he was watching. He was engaged and doing, but on a quieter, gentler scale.
It was like peering into what the older child Truman will be like and I think it's immersion symbols something I've been noticing in him the last few days: he's gaining control of his will.
Since around 18 months he has had the bladder control, knowledge and ability to use the potty, but his desire to do so has waxed and waned, mostly in moments where his will to do something else was stronger.
At the same time tantrums welled and in our outings it was apparent that frustration mounted when my will to get things done interfered with his will to explore.
Overtime we have grown together. I have learned to be patient and cognisant of his needs and desires and he has learned patience and delayed gratification. He has also gained more self-control.
The last few days he has been asking for and using the potty well and he's been very understanding of rules. Most of the rules we use right now involve safety or how long we will do an activity. The last few times we have gone swimming he's been remarkably amenable to leaving the pool, whereas when we first started going he would cry. Tonight he even initiated the end of our swim.
He's growing up. And while we still have tantrums sometimes, for the most part at (almost) 2 we are better able to understand each other and explore the world as a team.
On the way home from today's adventures I was coaxing a very tired Truman to stay awake to avoid the dreaded 5:45 p.m. nap and the after midnight bedtime that goes with it.So, on the drive home I kept tickling his feet to keep him awake. Toward the end of the drive I tried to give him a fig cookie help keep him awake. He stuck it in his mouth, then started to succumb to droopy eyes, cookie dangling.I managed to get to about 6:15, but with such a big day behind him I think we're good; at least I'm hoping we're good.
(Sally, wearing Aurthur and towing Adah and Truman.)
I've been going to the St. Cloud La Leche League since we moved to Princeton when Truman was about 4 months old. I remember he was just starting to sit on his own at the first meeting. Now he's usually discovering all the outlets, light switches and doors in the library meeting rooms.
The breastfeeding support has been great, but what has been most valuable about the meetings is observing other women mothering, asking questions about any parenting problem and gaining acceptance and validation by sharing stories with a peer group.
I'm lucky enough to be part of a group of LLL friends with similarly aged children that have been going to the meetings for almost two years. Now the fun continues after meetings in playdates and group adventures.
What I have learned from these women has been invaluable. Having a peer group that shares my values has encouraged my confidence as a mother and helped my trust my own instincts.
Today we headed to Sally and Aurthur's house where we cooked a meal (Indian-spiced rice with great northern beans, broccoli, green beans, zucchini and swiss chard), explored and dined in her backyard, played with water, then headed to the park with another friend.
At the park, the wind ready for Aurthur's kite.
Truman and Adah saw a plane.
And Truman rode (then fell off) a big-boy swing for the first time.
There was also this strange older kid at the park walking around muttering that he hated everything. Sally asked if he liked raisins, after Truman dumped an entire bag in the grass and we were scrambling to salvage the clean ones. He said "no."
Five minutes later we'd walked away to fly the kite. I glanced back and the boy was gobbling what was left of the raisin pile. It reminded me of Nopey.
So, maybe we're predicted to get 10 inches of snow next weekend, but that didn't stop us (or the rest of our neighborhood) from celebrating spring yesterday by being outside. Outside without gloves and a hat and without freezing because I don't want to wear gloves and a hat.
Yesterday also marked the daylight savings time switch, which put us in a bit of a nap stand-off. When four rolled around, forgetting it was actually three (non-converted time) I decided we should create a keep Truman-awake-plan, which is no small feet.
In case you haven't noticed, he's not the kind of person that does anything unless he decides he wants to do it. Wonder where he gets that from ...
So, while he is not exactly easy to put to bed, he is also difficult to keep awake.
Cue "the plan."
Our almost two years of parenting have been filled with many "plans," lots of successes but many agonizing, tantrum- or poop-filled defeats.
The plan was to take a rampaging, tired boy to the park for over an hour to keep him awake until the golden hour (7:30 in our house) when he can go to sleep and stay asleep until morning (8:00 at our house. Yes, I know I'm lucky).
It sounded like a foolish endeavour, even at the time, but we had few options. So we did it. He climbed; he slid; he swung; he ran around with a little girl and kept eating gross snow with echoes of "no, gross," cascading from our mouths. Then he took a tumble, had some milk and a snuggle and walked home with us.
As I was making dinner he fell asleep in Joe's arms right around the golden hour and awoke excited for today at, drum roll, please ...
.......
8 o'clock!
So today I'm taking a victory lap by telling you all. We did it!
p.s, I'm going to start writing on this blog more. It may not always be snazzy, but I want to document more of our everyday adventures.
