Truman and I had a good plan for the day, which involved getting up around 8. When I got up at 9:30, I realized my plans were pretty shot. We hung around the house. The I remembered it was election day and had an instant plan for a new adventure: walking to the voting depot and maybe checking out the museum next door or the park.
Then daddy came home with groceries, which was awesome. We ate lunch, daddy left and Truman was all ready to go on an adventure. So ready he wanted to get dressed (not usual!) and was even helping me.
Then I realized there were candidates I hadn't researched. While I was doing that he needed to take off his pants to go potty. Then he spilled milk on his shirt.
Now we were back at square one. I tried to ask him if he wanted to go vote at which point I realized he thought I was talking about a boat the whole time. Vote = Boat.
He was screaming for a boat ride. I explained that there was no boat, he could have a wagon ride to the voting place. I gave him a minute to work through it and when I looked over he was sleeping on a couch cushion on the floor, cuddling a box of crackers.
Joe had an equally unproductive day so we decided we'd both call it quits and he'd head home. I went and voted with only the company of little baby 2 snuggling in womb and we even had a bit of ice cream, then dinner (wrong order, right?).
It was good day, even if unproductive. I guess that's the magic of the everyday.
I tried to start a new blog that could combine this blog and my old blog. Something fresh, exciting, with fancy tabs over on wordpress.
But I think as we approach our own new things in this family (mostly spellbound baby #2) I am feeling wistful for these old blogs. I want to stay snuggled in the familiar.
But I do still want to write about all the new things the new blog was going to feature.
Since my father died last year I have been thinking almost daily about happiness and the kind of life I want to live. I want to start writing about some of this processing and the kind of mindful parenting I practice.
I keep seeing parallels in the way I think about parenting and the way others think about broader philosophical inquiries. I know a lot of people that look at parenting the way I do, but don't express it the way I do.
These are just beginning thoughts for the new things to come.
At almost 28 months, Truman is emerging as an incredibly imaginative child. He's still focused on how things work, but he goes about the world seeing every object for its possibilities.
This weekend he took a vacuum attachment and used it as a shoot to slide a butter knife through. Then he found a water bottle top and placed it on the end of the attachment so the butter knife couldn't fall through.
This, then, became a tub of butter. He stuck the knife in the attachment, then took the cap off and made the cap into toast. After buttering his toast he offered it to me.
"Buttered toast!"
He like simple language and words that describe more than one thing. All mechanical things that fly are airplanes, even though he knows the word for helicopter. All birds are birds. After seeing a duck at the Stearns County Fair last weekend he called it a "duck bird."
He is also making up his own language. Feedar is a word of excitement and empathy. If you look sad he will come over and say Feedar. If something wonderful happens — Feedar! Gheetor is basically the opposite, or at least it leads to the opposite. Gheetor is his word for all kinds of violence. It can be a noun or a verb or an adjective.
If he starts getting crazy we tell him "no gheetor."
Mekis is his word for music. It took us a long time to understand what mekis meant, though he said it all the time. I have no idea why he says mekis instead of music, but it is a relic of his toddlerhood I will miss once it is gone.
He is starting to sleep on his own so much better than he used to. We started giving him a bed time. He's always reluctant to head to bed, but happy to fall asleep and now Joe and I are able to leave him for a while until we're ready for bed.
He also naps by himself.
He is brave and kind and starting to be just a little more cautious about the world, especially bridges on the playground that bounce when you run over them.
For the first time Khai would climb through something Truman would not.
They are emerging as even better friends now that they are on more even footing.
Truman exhibited his first act of empathy today. We were out at a park with Khai and Sarah. It was a chilly day and both boys had hats, but Khai's had been left in the car.
Truman hasn't been a huge fan of hats this winter, so I expect he won't wear one unless it's freeze-your-ears-off cold. But he was wearing his hat today for a while, but then took it off, so I let Khai (who has been loving hats recently) wear it.
Later, Truman ran up to Khai and took his hat back. Khai started crying while Truman dashed away and put on the hat.
"Truman, that hat is very important to Khai and he would really like to wear it, since it is not that important to you, can he use it for now?"
Truman thought for a few seconds, then took off the hat and walked it over to Khai.
I could hardly believe it. He seemed to understand completely what was going on and chose of his own volition (prompted by me, yes, but he's not the type to do anything unless he wants to) to give Khai the hat.
These are all words that are easy to label Truman with. And while he does at times exhibit calmness, it hasn't been a hallmark of his first two years.
But today while we were checking out the Twin Cities Attachment Parenting playgroup I saw a profound shift in his personality. Other kids were running and jumping and tossing crayons into the air — things Truman normally does — but he was watching. He was engaged and doing, but on a quieter, gentler scale.
It was like peering into what the older child Truman will be like and I think it's immersion symbols something I've been noticing in him the last few days: he's gaining control of his will.
Since around 18 months he has had the bladder control, knowledge and ability to use the potty, but his desire to do so has waxed and waned, mostly in moments where his will to do something else was stronger.
At the same time tantrums welled and in our outings it was apparent that frustration mounted when my will to get things done interfered with his will to explore.
Overtime we have grown together. I have learned to be patient and cognisant of his needs and desires and he has learned patience and delayed gratification. He has also gained more self-control.
The last few days he has been asking for and using the potty well and he's been very understanding of rules. Most of the rules we use right now involve safety or how long we will do an activity. The last few times we have gone swimming he's been remarkably amenable to leaving the pool, whereas when we first started going he would cry. Tonight he even initiated the end of our swim.
He's growing up. And while we still have tantrums sometimes, for the most part at (almost) 2 we are better able to understand each other and explore the world as a team.
On the way home from today's adventures I was coaxing a very tired Truman to stay awake to avoid the dreaded 5:45 p.m. nap and the after midnight bedtime that goes with it.
So, on the drive home I kept tickling his feet to keep him awake. Toward the end of the drive I tried to give him a fig cookie help keep him awake. He stuck it in his mouth, then started to succumb to droopy eyes, cookie dangling.
I managed to get to about 6:15, but with such a big day behind him I think we're good; at least I'm hoping we're good.
(Sally, wearing Aurthur and towing Adah and Truman.)
I've been going to the St. Cloud La Leche League since we moved to Princeton when Truman was about 4 months old. I remember he was just starting to sit on his own at the first meeting. Now he's usually discovering all the outlets, light switches and doors in the library meeting rooms.
The breastfeeding support has been great, but what has been most valuable about the meetings is observing other women mothering, asking questions about any parenting problem and gaining acceptance and validation by sharing stories with a peer group.
I'm lucky enough to be part of a group of LLL friends with similarly aged children that have been going to the meetings for almost two years. Now the fun continues after meetings in playdates and group adventures.
What I have learned from these women has been invaluable. Having a peer group that shares my values has encouraged my confidence as a mother and helped my trust my own instincts.
Today we headed to Sally and Aurthur's house where we cooked a meal (Indian-spiced rice with great northern beans, broccoli, green beans, zucchini and swiss chard), explored and dined in her backyard, played with water, then headed to the park with another friend.
At the park, the wind ready for Aurthur's kite.
Truman and Adah saw a plane.
And Truman rode (then fell off) a big-boy swing for the first time.
There was also this strange older kid at the park walking around muttering that he hated everything. Sally asked if he liked raisins, after Truman dumped an entire bag in the grass and we were scrambling to salvage the clean ones. He said "no."
Five minutes later we'd walked away to fly the kite. I glanced back and the boy was gobbling what was left of the raisin pile. It reminded me of Nopey.
So, maybe we're predicted to get 10 inches of snow next weekend, but that didn't stop us (or the rest of our neighborhood) from celebrating spring yesterday by being outside. Outside without gloves and a hat and without freezing because I don't want to wear gloves and a hat.
Yesterday also marked the daylight savings time switch, which put us in a bit of a nap stand-off. When four rolled around, forgetting it was actually three (non-converted time) I decided we should create a keep Truman-awake-plan, which is no small feet.
In case you haven't noticed, he's not the kind of person that does anything unless he decides he wants to do it. Wonder where he gets that from ...
So, while he is not exactly easy to put to bed, he is also difficult to keep awake.
Cue "the plan."
Our almost two years of parenting have been filled with many "plans," lots of successes but many agonizing, tantrum- or poop-filled defeats.
The plan was to take a rampaging, tired boy to the park for over an hour to keep him awake until the golden hour (7:30 in our house) when he can go to sleep and stay asleep until morning (8:00 at our house. Yes, I know I'm lucky).
It sounded like a foolish endeavour, even at the time, but we had few options. So we did it. He climbed; he slid; he swung; he ran around with a little girl and kept eating gross snow with echoes of "no, gross," cascading from our mouths. Then he took a tumble, had some milk and a snuggle and walked home with us.
As I was making dinner he fell asleep in Joe's arms right around the golden hour and awoke excited for today at, drum roll, please ...
.......
8 o'clock!
So today I'm taking a victory lap by telling you all. We did it!
p.s, I'm going to start writing on this blog more. It may not always be snazzy, but I want to document more of our everyday adventures.
Truman's been showing some interest in learning letters so we're planning to focus on one letter each day. I just put together a play list for each letter on YouTube. We'll watch those, cut out an upper and lowercase letter to stick on the wall (and by the time we get through them all we'll have our own alphabet chart) and then do something with items that begin with that letter.
Today, with A we ate, smelled (he loves to smell things!) and played with an apple. Cut out apple and alligator shapes, colored and labeled them, then stuck them next to the letter Aa on the wall.
Then I got ambitious (okay, MORE ambitious) and drew three trees so he could count some apple shapes and stick them on the tree. That is where it started to fall apart. He did enjoy coloring the trees, cutting up the apples he was supposed to stick on them and unrolling gobs of the tape, though.
In these moments I just have to remind myself that doing those things were important to him, way more important than doing the activity I had set up. And in getting to explore the materials in the way he desired he was able to finally work the scissors by himself.
Now if only I could figure out what he is learning by making the house so messy, I'd be set. Although I guess what I am learning by having a messy house is that spending time with my child is much more important than cleaning.
We've entered the stage where Truman can and will repeat any word he hears, so I have taken to saying "oh my" often — in frustration, in excitement, in amazement and anguish, at the TV, at bad drivers and at the things I stumble over. If it's really heated I'll even go so far as to say "oh my goodness!"In this way I have become an old lady to prevent my son from sounding like a sailor. Instead he sound like an old lady with me, walking around saying "oh my!" in a sweet and surprised voice.
These days he's not grown much more in size, though he is inching his way toward 3T shirts, but is growing exponentially in language and other practical tasks. Today he was able to use his scissors himself to cut paper. He couldn't do it exactly the right way, but he found a workable solution. And earlier this week he helped me roll out and cut cookies. He's very smart and intuitive when it comes to activities that involve hand manipulation, like a little engineer.
He loves to color and paint, run, climb, jump and dance. He likes snow and hates hats. He likes to watch things that fly and find things in the house. He's getting pretty good at playing catch and making baskets, but he also likes to carry a purse, care for baby dolls and play chef. He is a ball of energy while we are out, but will often concentrate on activities that interest him while at home.
He is getting better at using the potty and telling us when he has to go while we are out, but he still wears diapers when out and at night.
About once a day he talks about a family member who isn't present, either thinking about them, wanting to call them or when he sees a picture. He remembers and loves his family.
