Breastfeeding is normal: Why I won't stop doing "that" in public

Well, it finally happened.

After over three years of continuous lactation I was confronted about nursing in public.

And you would think that three years of La Leche League, nursing in public, knowledge of laws and a general feeling of well being about breastfeeding would have left me lioness-like, ready to defend my child's right to eat without a blanket over his head.

We were watching my older son take his first swim lesson, beaming as he carefully listened and followed direction, giggling a bit as he tried to figure out the more difficult elements of swimming.

Keen needed to nurse, so I lifted my breast quickly out of the top of my shirt as I almost always do and popped him on. I cuddled his arm up near his face as he usually does anyway to offer a bit more cover.

When the lesson was over we were told that he was actually in the wrong class and I stood up with Keen attached to talk to the lady with a clipboard to make sure we got in the right class.

Then she asked me if I could please use a blanket to cover up while I "did that" or suggested I could use the locker room (where there are no seats but toilets and benches in the shower room that are usually wet).

I have supported so many women when they have talked about this happening to them and I thought it wouldn't bother me. But, honestly, when she said it my stomach sank. I got the feeling you get when you are pulled over by a cop and have no idea why. I was in trouble for doing something I knew wasn't wrong.

I also felt like my actions would affect the way my older son would be treated while taking his swimming lessons and was kind of in shock. What could I say?

I knew what I should say but I just wanted to recoil.

I looked at Joe and he recognized my slip into shyness.

He stood up for me.

He told her there were laws protecting our rights.

She looked surprised and almost relieved. She said she didn't have a problem with it, but sometimes people complain, then hinted that those parents don't like their kids seeing women breastfeed.

Then they complain to the lifeguards and it causes them problems.

We said we would print out the law and bring it in and we will.

What I think is particularly interesting about this encounter is the shaming language that was used. Despite her stated comfort with breastfeeding, she called the act "that" and then sought to protect, not the rights of the child who was doing an act she was comfortable with, but the rights of others who were probably swimming showing as much as or more skin than me.

I like to find consensus -- solutions that work for peace between those with different views -- but really is it ever okay for someone to tell me I can't feed my son in public because it makes them uncomfortable? Should I have to change how I act to help them find comfort or should they change their view as the law suggests?

I understand that everyone has different comfort levels with nudity and that many cultures prize modesty. But there is nothing immodest about breastfeeding.

I may wear a shirt with a tank top under it next time, which will allow for more coverage. But I hardly think the top of my breast is what was offensive. After all, we were at a pool where almost all women were wearing clothing that showed part of their breasts. This makes me feel that anyone uncomfortable with me breastfeeding at that moment in that setting was not, despite what they might say, upset by seeing a breast (breasts were everywhere). They were upset by seeing BREASTS FEEDING and that is not okay.